


Love is chaos

by detectivein221b (Flamingangelgrace)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: BBC Sherlock - Freeform, BBC is a destroyer of souls, Car Accidents, Crying, Death, Hospitals, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:31:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8425510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingangelgrace/pseuds/detectivein221b
Summary: A speeding car. Police sirens blaring. The screams of a little girl. Then ambulance sirens. Complete chaos.He only went out for groceries. Now he’s in the hospital. And everything hurts. But John needs to tell Sherlock something before it’s too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic, and I'd really appreciate it if you could comment tips or leave kudos as I don't really know what I'm doing yet and it would be really helpful.

Everything was dark. A blank, consuming darkness that seemed to envelope his entire consciousness. It blanketed everything, slowed down his thoughts and made him oblivious to it all. It was almost comforting. Enough that slowly John felt himself relax into it, and just waited for to take him away to somewhere where nothing hurt. And then suddenly, that darkness shattered.  
Shards of daylight pierced his vision and he woke up, gasping for air after almost drowning in those murky shadows. The air felt like tiny pieces of glass as it shuddered its way down his throat, but he kept on breathing desperate to hang onto this thread of reality. He blinked and slowly took in his surroundings. It was chaos. What on earth had happened?  
He looked down and realised with a jarring shock that resounded like having a bucket of cold water thrown down your neck that he couldn’t see his own body. Just below the neck it disappeared into a hunk of twisted metal that he realised used to be car. And everything hurt. Even his fingertips tingled painfully. He could just about see through blurred vision a small crowd of people around him until it was blocked by a towering figure clad in a fluorescent jacket that knelt over his head.  
‘You’ve been in an accident’ a firm but calming voice sounded ‘so you’re gonna need to stay very still ok, now can you hear me?’  
John struggled to open his mouth for a second, but just about managed to say yes with a rasping, pitiful voice.  
‘okay that’s good, now can you tell me your name?’  
‘J-john Watson’  
‘You’re doing very well John’ came the reply, ‘I know it hurts but we need you to stay awake for just a little while longer while we get you out of here, and then when we’re at the hospital you can sleep as long as you want’  
John started to reply, but felt that darkness start to lurk again and stopped, his head pounding a steady rhythm. Amongst the chaos he heard a drilling sound and could just see a fire-fighter standing over the wreckage, before the drilling grew louder and he felt vibrations. Then, excruciating pain filled his entire body. It seemed to go on and on, but then it stopped and through the fog that was settling over his mind he felt a great release of pressure and suddenly many people surrounded him on all sides and his body was lifted up, up, up into an ambulance. He had just enough time before the fog descended permanently to say ‘Sh-sherlock, where’s Sherlock, I need to tell him I lo-’but before he could finish talking, his eyes rolled back and for a long time, everything was dark.  
~~~~~~~~  
John slowly became aware of his surroundings. First came his ability to feel, and white hot pain shot through his upper body. Then he smelt the clean antiseptic of hospitals. And then he opened his eyes a fraction, taking it all in. He knew what had to be done. So he slowly turned his head to face the commotion outside the room and mentally prepared himself.  
In the corridor stood Sherlock, looking dishevelled but beautiful as always, despite the mess of his hair and red rimmed eyes. He was gesturing madly at the doctor an nurse stood in front of him, and shouting wildly. ‘Please he’s my best friend, you have to let me see him! You have to! I don’t care about your stupid rules! I need to see him!’  
The female doctor stood opposite sighed dejectedly. ‘Mr Holmes I’m sorry, I truly am, but we cannot let you see him. You’ll just have to wait’  
“No no no you have to! Ple-” He stopped mid-sentence, gazing past the doctor at John, who stared right back into those galactic eyes  
“Hi Sherlock” He rasped out  
The detective immediately pushed past the couple and rushed into the room. “Oh god John I was so worried that you weren’t home, and I was terrified that something had happened, because it doesn’t take an hour to get groceries, and then the police showed up at the flat, and I came straight here, and oh god John I just-“ He sobbed desperately  
“Slow down Sherlock, it’s ok, it doesn’t matter, because you’re here now, calm down”  
The doctor burst into the sterile room, “You can’t be in here, I’m really sorry sir but you’re going to have to leave while we check him over and make sure he’s ok”  
“No,” John interjected, “please no”  
She started, and looked at John as if only just realising he was in the room. “You don’t understand Mr Watson, he needs to-”  
“No Doctor, It’s you that doesn’t understand.” John said forcefully. “Look, I’m a doctor too, so I know what’s happening here, what this is, and I know you do too, so will you please, please just give us a minute because-” he paused, his voice on the verge of breaking “because we need to talk”  
A look of understanding passed between the two, and she nodded, her mouth tightening, before backing out of the room and closing the door. Then he turned back to Sherlock, who was gazing after her, for perhaps the first time in his life, in confusion. “John? John what was that about? What do you understand?” His eyes were wide as he looked back at the ex army medic.  
“Sherlock,” He began, “I’m, well, the uh, the injuries I sustained are, well, they’re huge. And I’m uh, unlikely to survive, so I need to tell you something” As he finished his voice broke and he looked away, not wanting to see the other man’s reaction. When he looked back, tears were running down Sherlock’s face “no. No. You can’t die. No. Please John. Not you. Anyone but you.” Tears were now running down John’s face too, but he managed to talk  
“Yes, and I’m so sorry it had to happen this way. Sherlock, I have a confession to make before I go. The only thing I’ve ever truly kept secret from you.”  
Sherlock looked up suddenly, clarity in his eyes, and John could practically see the thought processes in his head. “Go on then, what’s this.. secret?” He said carefully.  
He took a deep breath, gathering courage, and said all at once, “I’m in love with you.” There. He’d said it now. No taking it back. The words were out there forever. “I have been for a long time, since we first met really. I never told because I didn’t know how you’d react. And I was ok with it so long as I got to see you, and couldn’t stand the thought of having to move out of the flat. There, my big secret, for the entire world to see, so say it. Say that I’m ridiculous, that caring is not an advantage. That I’m stupid.” He was breathing faster, and the previously dull ache in his body had increased to agonising pain, but he gritted his teeth and hung on to consciousness.  
For a moment Sherlock was silent, simply looking down at the bed by which he sat. Then he looked up, his eyes shining brightly. “You really mean it? You’re not joking or anything? You genuinely love me?” Confusion settled over John, this was not how he’d expected his confession to go down. “I- Yes, of course I love you,” and a moment later, hesitantly, “why?”  
Sherlock Holmes met his gaze steadily, simultaneously taking his hand. “Because Dr John Watson, I love you too, I love you and I have for a very, very long time” and with that, he leaned forward and gently pressed his own lips against John’s. It was at that precise moment that Sherlock decided that love is chaos. Wild and untameable and above all, lethal.  
It lasted only seconds before he pulled away again, a wide grin on his face, which quickly faded as he remembered where they were and registered the incessant beeping of the heart rate monitor in the background, which had sped up a lot he noticed. John was looking back at him with a smile mirroring his own from moments ago. But of course it was too good to be true.  
John coughed loudly, and when he dropped his hand there was blood smeared on it. The heart rate monitor kept on going, but faster than it should have been. He reached for Sherlock’s hand and gripped it tightly, even as his eyes rolled back in his head and his back arched. The monitor suddenly changed, from impossibly fast to a single flat note that crashed and roiled inside Sherlock’s mind.  
Suddenly the room was full of noise and people, but he barely registered it, only able to hear that single note that went on and on and on.  
It wasn’t until hours later that that noise faded and he found himself sitting on a plastic chair in some dark corner, his head in his hands.  
And he started to laugh.  
A low, dark laugh that seemed to reverberate around the hospital. How ironic, he thought, that they’d been in love for years, but never realising, always hiding it, until they finally, finally realised, only for John to die.  
He sat there for what felt like hours, not quite sure if he was laughing or crying. When he finally stood up he had decided that yes, love is definitely chaos.


End file.
